Sure Rob. Sure. Vagina Allergy.

15 02 2010

Yep, I bet there's a giant rash on the back of your head.

In the latest issue of Details, Robear can be seen in an intensely naked photo shoot with lots of model nakedness. Naked.

from PopEater

The ‘Twilight’ heartthrob revealed what it was like working with naked women for the magazine. “I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vaginas. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours…Thank God I was hungover.”

Riiiight. If my boyfriend was doing a photo shoot with naked women running around and a special crotch headshot for the cover, you sure as hell better believe he’s allergic to vaginas that day. Like kryptonite.

Weeellll. Glean what you want, but this to me says she’s got him on a nice short leash. Bravo KStew.





Wait… what? Kristen gets denied at an Ed Hardy Party…

27 01 2010

Waaaaait….. This is a joke right? So MANY things are wrong with this.

According to OK Magazine, our darling KStew was trying to stop by the Ed Hardy Shoes Happy Hour (yes, that’s not a typo, Ed Hardy) before she was to appear on stage with Joan Jett in Park City, Utah… AND WAS DENIED ENTRANCE! Granted it was totally due to her age… but this seems to be the equivalent of that time in high school when I thought I wanted to be a athletic trainer (ankle tapers, water bottle runners) for football and got knocked off the field when I wasn’t paying attention (i had air time, it was the homecoming game).

Moral of the story – it was embarrassing, it was very public, but I learned my lesson. I promptly went home, plugged in Portishead and slid into the comfort of “disenchanted youth.” Today I am happy to say that “disenchanted adult” has been really rewarding.

KStew, go home… listen to a little Iron and Wine and never look back. We all make mistakes.





P.S. Just in case you are Team Switzerland

18 12 2009

Like moi…

Made from genuine precious metals. no paperclip.

I just think that the torn Twihard in your life would see the thought behind this one of a kind gift. Bonus, you could even claim that you made them yourself! With your eyes closed!!!





I know EXACTLY what to get Allie for christmas

18 12 2009

ON YA CHHHHEEEEIN.

I can't quit you! or your chin!

bet you can't even handle my new Runaways trailer.

I love you Helen Killer. I love everything you stand for.

xx hollerway





Rush – it’s time.

4 12 2009

Oh man SigO hopefuls, it’s time to get each one of your twi-loving behinds to the rush page. take the test, get it right… get in. See you on the flipside!

Come one, come all!





Vampire Periods. Explained.

2 12 2009

Honestly, I’ve had this convo with Allie a bunch of times before and she assured me that this is not really an issue. So, nobody needs to run out and get Vampax right now… but oh snap, it’s Becca!!!!!!

more about “Vampire Periods. Explained. “, posted with vodpod

Thanks Allison!





Taylor and Rob Kiss!

25 11 2009

Find me this magazine! Way better than any Cracked foldover pages!

move your hand, let's see what else is touching

(via Buzzfeed)





Ashley Greene at the MoMA

20 11 2009

I don’t normally comment on the Doll, but check her ass out.

Girl, don't hurt 'em.

Ashley Greene attended the Tribute to Tim Burton at the MoMA on the 17th. Busy laaaaady.





I wrote this song for you, sike, just kidding…

17 11 2009

whaaaaaaaaaaa-uuuuppppp

Ugh. If you all were keeping up on the rapid fire tweets last night, it was me who was hating on Anya Marina. Hundreds of thousands of anxious fans tuned into the MySpace feed (mistake number 1) to watch her and Other Guy butcher what could have been a really cool look into the red carpet activities. First off, before I get the Hater of the Century Award… yes, I understand how nerve wracking it might have been and yes, I know how difficult it is to get out of bed and pretend to care about life… but if you aren’t up to the task… keep your satellite ass home.

A performance appraisal for Anya Marina, 10 areas of improvement identified:

  1. Oh for the love of god… do not plug yourself to every single person that gets on your platform. The reason why Gil Birmingham looked shocked and irritated is because he was and COMPLETELY valid in that.
  2. Brush your hair. But this is really just a symptom of a much larger problem;
  3. Don’t take drugs. Seriously, I hear slurring and concentration are greatly affected after a heavy shake of that Xanax bottle.
  4. Learn the actors’ names. This was not the event to run in all willy-nilly. If you are so psyched to be on the soundtrack and feel the need to tell everyone you already saw the movie… PAY ATTENTION TO THE CREDITS instead of just scanning for your own name or buy a magazine. ANY MAGAZINE. I bet Popular Mechanics even did a photoshoot with a couple of them.
  5. When UStream cuts out, use this as an opportunity. This is a great time to either whip open a little face book of everyone there or at least pound a little coffee to cut the downers.
  6. You are the only person that thinks your “quirkiness” is cute. </story>
  7. Great, now everyone thinks we’re losers too. You are here to do a job. We are here to watch you do it.  By association that we are watching this train go off the rails, it’s assumed that we are train wrecks too.  We had no choice but to watch and wince to just get a glimpse of Robear and KStew. Thanks for holding us hostage.
  8. Don’t creep out the children.  Yeah, Richie Sambora’s daughter was way cute… but I bet the second he left, he had to have one of those convos about drug and alcohol abuse that he was hoping to stave off for a few more years. Then again, knowledge is power, so maybe it was a good thing.
  9. Set an example. I get that this isn’t your normal gig, but Courtney the contest winner was so cute and nervous and really rose to the occasion. She isn’t showbiz, but she ran circles around you.
  10. Yeah, leave the jokes to the professionals. The third time you told an actor you wrote the song about them, I think it was Ashley Greene and she replied “Really?”… you said “no, not really, but check it out on myspace.com/….” The look on her face was priceless. A divine combination of “What?” and “Who are you?” By the time you got to Kristen, I was screaming through the screen to tell her to not buy into your act.

no doikes

Ok, I’m done ranting. And I promise I won’t bring it up again, Allie. It’s out of my system now.

(whisper– feel free to add your own bullets if you think I missed something)





Elizabeth Reaser… Smoking on the Red Carpet

17 11 2009

Check her out… she’s giving them young things a run for their money.

Edward prefers Cougars

Get ‘em girl, go on With your Hervé Leger dress and your weave. Rowr.








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