I wrote this song for you, sike, just kidding…

17 11 2009

whaaaaaaaaaaa-uuuuppppp

Ugh. If you all were keeping up on the rapid fire tweets last night, it was me who was hating on Anya Marina. Hundreds of thousands of anxious fans tuned into the MySpace feed (mistake number 1) to watch her and Other Guy butcher what could have been a really cool look into the red carpet activities. First off, before I get the Hater of the Century Award… yes, I understand how nerve wracking it might have been and yes, I know how difficult it is to get out of bed and pretend to care about life… but if you aren’t up to the task… keep your satellite ass home.

A performance appraisal for Anya Marina, 10 areas of improvement identified:

  1. Oh for the love of god… do not plug yourself to every single person that gets on your platform. The reason why Gil Birmingham looked shocked and irritated is because he was and COMPLETELY valid in that.
  2. Brush your hair. But this is really just a symptom of a much larger problem;
  3. Don’t take drugs. Seriously, I hear slurring and concentration are greatly affected after a heavy shake of that Xanax bottle.
  4. Learn the actors’ names. This was not the event to run in all willy-nilly. If you are so psyched to be on the soundtrack and feel the need to tell everyone you already saw the movie… PAY ATTENTION TO THE CREDITS instead of just scanning for your own name or buy a magazine. ANY MAGAZINE. I bet Popular Mechanics even did a photoshoot with a couple of them.
  5. When UStream cuts out, use this as an opportunity. This is a great time to either whip open a little face book of everyone there or at least pound a little coffee to cut the downers.
  6. You are the only person that thinks your “quirkiness” is cute. </story>
  7. Great, now everyone thinks we’re losers too. You are here to do a job. We are here to watch you do it.  By association that we are watching this train go off the rails, it’s assumed that we are train wrecks too.  We had no choice but to watch and wince to just get a glimpse of Robear and KStew. Thanks for holding us hostage.
  8. Don’t creep out the children.  Yeah, Richie Sambora’s daughter was way cute… but I bet the second he left, he had to have one of those convos about drug and alcohol abuse that he was hoping to stave off for a few more years. Then again, knowledge is power, so maybe it was a good thing.
  9. Set an example. I get that this isn’t your normal gig, but Courtney the contest winner was so cute and nervous and really rose to the occasion. She isn’t showbiz, but she ran circles around you.
  10. Yeah, leave the jokes to the professionals. The third time you told an actor you wrote the song about them, I think it was Ashley Greene and she replied “Really?”… you said “no, not really, but check it out on myspace.com/….” The look on her face was priceless. A divine combination of “What?” and “Who are you?” By the time you got to Kristen, I was screaming through the screen to tell her to not buy into your act.

no doikes

Ok, I’m done ranting. And I promise I won’t bring it up again, Allie. It’s out of my system now.

(whisper– feel free to add your own bullets if you think I missed something)


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12 responses

17 11 2009
twilog

OMG yes to everything you said. I wanted to smack her every time she kept hitting on all the men they interviewed, and when she was telling everyone the song was about them. I mean, really? I was embarrassed for her.

-Whitley (twilog.net)

17 11 2009
alliecupcake

I hate that song now. Its such a shame.

17 11 2009
KEZ

sooooo annoying
her voice is so annoying and drawly and fake
and she was just cringing me eugh
and the guy who she was with was baltantly like ‘wtf are you’ like the whole time haha

17 11 2009
scrubbie

I was expecting a bitch slapping by KStew, can you imagine??it could be LEGENDARY, or something like: “dude, you really suck, I think you are an idiot, I will bring my boy toy Mr Sparkly to talk to you, cause he loooves the idiots..like him, but he is pretty, so whatever, you are not, so you suck” and then walks away..GO KSTEWWWW

17 11 2009
TwiLex

OMG, I was so afraid I was going to be hated last night when I left a comment about how I couldn’t stand the annoying blonde chick and her nasal sounding voice. Seriously she sucked ass. All there interviews were so awkward, it was like watching a train wreck over and over again. Thank goodness E!News is showing a special right now, “Live from the New Moon Red Carpet,” because at least they know what to do during an interview. At least someone got it right! I must say, I do find it hilarious how each actor/actress was pulled away so quickly from the horrible duo. Thank goodness their PR peeps realized the awkwardness of the situation and lack of knowledge … “hi, I’m on the soundtrack,” HA, none of the actors knew her.

17 11 2009
jj

seriously, how DARE she use our twi as a stepping stone in her quest for shameless self-promotion. and to think of all the mega talented artists who were clamoring to get on this soundtrack, not JUST for the $$, but also for the inspiration it gave them. i just don’t get how they ever chose her to host.

17 11 2009
alliecupcake

hahahaha FIGHT THE POWER JJ

18 11 2009
hollerway

Guess who has a song called “Clean & Sober?” lol, not these days.

18 11 2009
soundwench

I am so there with you, I twittered her account and told her to shut the hell up, about herself and her stupid song over and over and over. Not to mention cringe and plug my ears every time she opened her mouth. It is a shame that with all of the talent out there, that 2 educated people, who knew the actors names, and possibly had at least done some research on them, if not not known of their careers could have been found to host this. The winner did a wonderful job, and seemed to be truly in awe, but well spoken, and well contained. I loved how she mentioned that the fangirl wanted to be screaming, but she kept herself together. She should have done the whole thing period.

Also what was with the male host, pulling up random people cause they were “his buddies” to give them camera time. Totally unprofessional. Kudos to all of the cast especially Rob, Kellan, Kristen, Ashley and everyone for being so gracious, when faced with such extreme stupidity. It shows just how talented they are as actors to stand there and pretend to look interested in these misfits. And Anya, if you should happen to read this, I don’t care if your song is the greatest in the world. I will never listen to it, because of the person you presented yourself to be. You should have kept your mouth shut and let your song do it’s job. If it was actually good you wouldn’t have had to plug yourself 90 times a second.

18 11 2009
hollerway

hell hath no fury like a twihard scorned.

18 11 2009
MaliciousMandy

Wow! You nailed it! I said many similar things via blog and tweet last night – it was an embarassment to twi-fans and it was torture having to endure it as a twi-fan…. she was high or drunk (I hope – cuz if that’s just how she is usually, lord help her friends and family) and it was horrible!

Linked you – cuz like I said – you nailed it!

18 11 2009
TwiLex

Okay, I’m still crackign up over the fact that no one knew Anya was, even when she said, “my song is on the soundtrack.” Sad to say, because I am a fan of T. Swift, but it totally reminded me of the MTV episode when some boy won a date with an unknown celebrity to his prom and it ended up being Taylor Swift and he had absolutely no clue who she was or anything. I felt horrible for her then, but now for him because he was kind of standoffish to her, especially since she brought a friend and now she’s HUGE!

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